La raison pour laquelle je n’ai qu’une seule résolution pour le retour à l’école cette année

En septembre dernier, j’ai établi une liste de 12 résolutions pour le retour à l’école. Cette année, je n’en ai qu’une seule.

Lorsque mes enfants avaient 6 et 8 ans, je n’éprouvais pas le besoin de planifier leurs vies, mais à présent qu’ils sont plus âgés et qu’ils ont plus de centres d’intérêt, il m’est plus difficile de résister à l’appel de la programmation.

Voici un exemple récent. Dernièrement, nos enfants sont devenus obsédés par les comédies musicales et la chanson. Après les avoir écoutés chanter la bande sonore de West Side Story inlassablement, j’ai voulu les inscrire au théâtre musical.

Sur la recommandation d’un ami, nous avons opté pour un cours qui paraissait génial. Les enfants pouvaient suivre le même cours et l’accent était mis sur le développement des habiletés (ce que j’adore). La femme au téléphone semblait adorable et chaleureuse. J’étais emballée.

Mais pour une raison ou une autre, je n’arrivais pas à me décider à les inscrire. Je comptais bien le faire, mais quelque chose m’en empêchait et je me suis alors promis de les inscrire à notre retour de vacances.

Nous avions vraiment besoin de ces vacances et aussitôt que j’ai commencé à relaxer il me vint à l’esprit que ce serait de la folie que d’ajouter une chose de plus à notre emploi du temps déjà surchargé. (Je me rends compte que chacun a une limite différente par rapport à ces choses-là.)

Lors de notre voyage, j’en discutais avec mon amie qui m’a répondu « garde les choses simples ». Elle a précisé que ces leçons n’avaient pas lieu dans notre quartier et que ce serait un véritable périple en plein hiver, tout un problème lorsque l’on dépend des transports en commun.

C’est à ce moment-là que je me suis souvenue du CTFD parenting approach. Alors voici ma résolution pour cette année : CTFD. (NDT: Aie!, Les nerfs!)

Dès lors que les enfants manifestent un intérêt pour quelque chose, je vais essayer de résister à l’envie de leur programmer.

S’agissant de leur intérêt pour les comédies musicales, ils développent déjà le chant, la danse et exercent les habiletés à la maison pour rien et sans entrainement de ma part. S’ils restent motivés et commencent à me supplier pour des leçons, je saurai alors qu’il est temps d’y songer sérieusement. Mais notez qu’ils n’en ont pas demandé.

À la façon dont je vois les choses, notre rôle est de les garder exposés à la musique, de les emmener à des événements en famille et être un auditoire appréciatif lorsque cela s’impose. Cela semble réalisable.

Je garde cette leçon à l’esprit, mais il semblerait que je l’assimile difficilement. Quelques semaines avant la prise de décision pour le théâtre musical, notre cadet m’a fait part de son désir de jouer au tennis. J’ai aussitôt dit : « Génial, allons t’inscrire ». Il a alors répondu, « je ne veux pas de leçons, je veux jouer avec toi. »

Alors, ce soir-la, au lieu de programmer des leçons, nous nous sommes dirigés vers le parc, nos raquettes d’occasion en main pour jouer contre le mur de l’école ce qui fut un succès total.

En prime, il a réussi à impliquer son père, et c’est depuis, devenu une activité qu’ils aiment faire ensemble. Cela ne serait peut-être jamais arrivé s’il avait pris des leçons.

Mais quand tous les enfants du quartier sont inscrits au tennis, au soccer, au  rallye cap, au théâtre musical, à la danse, à la gymnastique, au hockey, etc., la pression exercée pour que nos enfants poursuivent peut s’avérer assez intense.

Alors, Aie!, Les nerfs! est le conseil que je suivrai lorsque je m’imaginerai qu’ils sont en train de décrocher.

Au fil des ans, ce conseil a été le sous-entendu lors des conversations occasionnelles avec les enseignants, les pédiatres et les instructeurs, et il est bon de le voir formulé noir sur blanc, comme une bouée à laquelle s’accrocher lorsque les vagues d’une ambition effrénée m’envoient sur Google pour rechercher des programmes pour les enfants.

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