What bullying in sports can do to your child’s brain
A pervasive myth in sport is that if we prioritize athletes’ psychological safety, we limit competitive achievement. Put bluntly: if we care about athletes’ social-emotional safety, they’re less likely to win. Beneath this myth is a deeper entrenched belief, which we don’t like to admit, but some still adhere to: bullying and abuse are a necessary evil for greatness.
Some of you might not agree with this coach in the news for abuse, but others might still think that his aggressive, demeaning behaviour will bring the best out of this young athlete. That’s a myth.
The brain science of bullying: Can physical damage be done to a brain?
The best way to debunk a myth is with science, in this case, brain science. If athletes are afraid they’re going to be yelled at, berated, put down, not listened to, ignored, denied feedback, blamed, shamed, and threatened—aka normalized bullying in our society—then their brains become laser-focused on danger. And this is bad for young athletes because, like a blow will injure their body, this kind of abuse will injure their brain.
Inside the skull of an anxious athlete, we might notice physical harm being done to their developing brain. Note that none of the behaviours described above have touched the body, but that does not mean the brain is not suffering physical damage. The neurological scars from the behaviour described can physically harm the brain and it is visible on brain scans.
Three brain injuries that comes from bullying and abuse
We cannot see how abuse and bullying can create changes in the brain with the naked eye. But now there is non-invasive technology (EEG, MRI, fMRI, etc.) that makes the negative effects of bullying visible. Technology allows us to see that some of our beliefs that may have reached entrenched mythic status—like athletes need to be lambasted with homophobic slurs in order to excel—need to be replaced with what science tells us.
My son and his teammates were called a wide array of homophobic slurs during their youth sports—normalized by school administrators and the Commissioner for Teacher Regulation in British Columbia. And they were normalized because they were yelled in basketball practices. The commissioner ruled the athletes were “too sensitive.”
What goes on in the brain when athletes are humiliated?
1. A hyperactive fear hub
One change we might notice is the amygdala becoming enlarged. The amygdala is the “fear hub” of the brain and is critical to survival. This is a region of the brain that detects physical dangers such as a punch, a fire, a speeding car. Detecting these threats spurs the brain and body to deflect, retreat, or jump aside.
The problem is that the brain is equally fearful about being verbally attacked or ignored because the brain is wired for the safety provided by connection and community. The amygdala treats every abuse as a vital danger. It sends the athlete into a constant heightened awareness, which can become hyper-vigilance.
Intensive scanning for threat or anticipating harm is correlated with poor health, depleted energy, and anxiety. For example, let’s assume that the coach in the video above or my son’s coaches constantly berated and degraded their athletes. This conduct spurs brains to adapt by scanning the environment for abuse. When this happens, athletes are left with fewer mental resources for working memory, processing speed, focus, peripheral vision, and navigation—all brain skills essential for optimal athletic performance. The stress on the athletes’ brains may also seriously harm their hearts.
2. “Brain on slow mode”
Another change in the bullied brain is a diminution in the insulation that helps the brain communicate efficiently. Research has shown that the insulation—the myelin—can be reduced in key brain areas. For example, bullied athletes may present with “a demyelinated corpus callosum.” The corpus callosum is the thick bundle of fibres that connects the left and right hemisphere of the brain.
To perform at her best, an athlete needs both sides of her brain to communicate as fast as possible. And that’s what healthy myelin does. When myelin is eroded, communication is far less efficient and fast. This leaves an athlete with a diminished capacity to process the environment. And this leads to what sportscasters call a “mental mistake.” A pass is missed, a play is fumbled, or an athlete is injured because their brain is forced to compete in an environment of fear, humiliation, and favouritism, the hallmarks of a bullying culture. Athletes focus on not making a mistake rather than being in the moment.
3. Stuck in “fight or flight”
When an athlete is subjected to bullying, it causes an automatic stress response: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. When psychological abuse and bullying persist, it can negatively affect how an athlete lives his or her sport experience. The fun and joy can be replaced by fear and anxiety.
The hippocampus, a region of the brain involved in learning, memory, and tagging memories with emotions can be affected: it might store sports memories and experiences as traumatizing. The athlete may become aggressive or begin bullying others (fight). She might decide to check out, skip practices, avoid games (flight). He might become silent and withdrawn (freeze). She might identify with the aggressor and join in on the bullying behaviour (fawn).
Regardless of how the brain’s sympathetic nervous system responds to the stressors of bullying, adrenaline and cortisol are repeatedly released as the brain and body prepare to survive the onslaught. Cortisol can become corrosive to the hippocampus when it’s released too frequently. It shrivels this region in the brain, which impacts athletic performance, academics, and overall mental health. Cortisol can also do damage to blood vessels, putting the athlete at risk for health issues long term.
In short, psychological abuse and bullying, especially from adults in positions of power, can turn all that is positive about sport into a nightmare for the athlete. And when this happens, the first things to go are the athlete’s ability to learn, grow, and perform at their best.
What can parents do to help?
What’s incredibly exciting for me as an academic and author, but more importantly as the mother of an athlete who was psychologically abused, is that there are strategies to strengthen brains and make them fulfill their athletic potential and strengthen their mental health. Here are some things you can do.
1. Ask questions
If you have concerns about bullying conduct impacting your child, start asking questions. Ask your child how they are spoken to, treated, encouraged, critiqued.
2. Talk about it
You can also help your child by developing a frequently used, shared vocabulary on bullying and abuse. Teaching them accurate terms to use will help you have conversations about bullying and establish whether or not harm is occurring.
3. Model empathy and try to walk in your child’s shoes
Another strategy when tackling a bullying culture is intentionally transforming normalized abusive behaviours into empathic ones. Empathy is the advanced ability to imagine a scenario through the lens and experience of another. It is when you walk in someone else’s shoes. It’s the opposite of bullying, where perpetrators project their own traumas onto targets.
Many confuse empathy with weakness. Empathy is in our DNA. When we are born, our brains are wired to identify the feelings, thoughts, and intentions of others, which is key for our survival. Being maltreated erodes the empathy neural circuitry of the brain. Without empathy, there is no progress. Empathy is not only a superpower for parents, coaches, and athletes, it’s also one of the most sought-after qualities in the 21st-century workplace. Sports and even dance are an excellent place to strengthen one’s empathy.
4. Try training your brain
Another effective strategy is brain-training. Having athletes put in 30 minutes a day of inexpensive, online brain-training offers incredible benefits to brain health, and also to high-performance. BrainHQ is a brain-strengthening program designed by an international team of neuroscientists led by Dr. Michael Merzenich, the “father of neuroplasticity.”
Neuroplasticity is our ability throughout life to change our brains. Many of us have had our brains wired in a culture of normalized bullying. We can change that and instead privilege brain health and safety and high performance. It’s not a quick fix. It takes work, but all those committed to sports know that if we want to attain mastery, we need to practice.
If brains have been harmed by bullying, they can be brought back to organic brain health. Deliberate practice is how we myelinate neural networks and turn them into superconductors. Empathic coaches are recognized in research as “talent whisperers.” Two athletes who have publicly shared that they use BrainHQ are Tom Brady and Harry Kane.
Maybe it’s time for us to include the brain in our understanding of psychological safety, happiness, and high performance.
Want to learn more?
We’re developing a new curriculum for youth sports based on brain science and athletes’ voices. If you’re a parent and want to get involved or stay informed, please contact us at [email protected].