Activities for anxious kids: How to help children cope with anxiety through play
We all have a range of feelings. We feel happy, sad, silly, disappointed, excited, amazed, surprised, angry, or brave. But we all, including kids, sometimes feel anxious. Anxiety is the feeling of worry, nervousness, fear, or unease.
Even if these feelings in kids seem small to adults, they can be very real and important for a child. But they’re also very normal.
Parents and caregivers can help tremendously by recognizing what anxiety looks like and providing activities for anxious kids. Psychologist and University of British Columbia professor Lynn Miller encouragingly notes that, “Given the chance to learn skills, anxious kids will live exciting, fantastic lives.”
Understanding anxiety in young children: What is it and how to recognize symptoms?
Sometimes our kids might behave in ways we could chalk up to defiance, stubbornness, shyness, or low self-esteem. These behaviours, though, might actually be signs of anxiety. When a child is anxious, you might notice that they:
- have trouble sleeping or don’t want to sleep alone
- have trouble concentrating
- ask to stay home from school or other activities
- have stomachaches, headaches, chest tightness, sweating, or nausea
- avoid certain situations
- are fidgety
- speak negatively about themselves
- throw tantrums, are angry, or cry more than usual
- are very self-conscious
- want to be alone
- have a low appetite
- have muscle aches
Anxiety in kids generally falls into the following categories:
Separation anxiety
Kids as young as babies can feel anxious when they’re away from their parents or caregiver, worrying that they won’t return. Kids going to school, being babysat, or dropped with a friend or relative can feel the anxiety before and/or during the event.
Social anxiety
Just like adults, kids can feel very uncomfortable and self-conscious around other people, including those they have and haven’t met.
Generalized anxiety
Kids with generalized anxiety worry about a wide variety of things. School, life events, family matters, recess, weather, world events (if they’ve heard the news), safety, and more can cause a child to feel very nervous.
Specific phobia
Many kids have fears of specific objects or situations such as insects, thunder and lightning, the dark, or crowds.
If your child is worried about their worries (very common!), have them watch this video from Anxiety Canada so they can understand what they’re experiencing, why they’re experiencing it, and why it’s normal for them to feel the way they do. As the video points out, “understanding where anxiety comes from is the first step in learning to deal with it.
And one way they can deal with it is through play.
The benefits play has on reducing anxiety in children
Activities for children with anxiety at a young age can go a long way towards helping your child navigate and regulate their emotions as they grow.
“Play is an important part of self-discovery for children,” says Canadian psychologist Camilla Rangel Moreira. As they play, they learn a lot about themselves, about their surroundings, and about interacting with others. This self-awareness can lead to more calm and confidence in themselves.
50 activities for anxious children
Providing activities for your anxious child is key to focusing their minds on the present moment and giving them a chance to learn valuable coping skills. Through breathing and mindfulness exercises, creative play, physical activity, sensory activities, group activities, and family time, their stress levels can drop substantially. Think of this list as a toolbox in your child’s ability to deal with stressful situations now and in the future.
Breathing and mindfulness exercises
Through breathing and mindfulness, your kids can calm their own bodies and mind. Parents and caregivers can teach breathing techniques to kids as young as two. This helps children learn ways to handle stress early on.
- Balloon breathing
Sitting or standing, have your child take deep breaths in as if their belly is a balloon that they’re trying to fill with air. Have them then slowly let the air out of the balloon as they release the breath from the belly. You can even have them make a hissing sound as a balloon would make to fully focus. Have them repeat multiple times to relax their body and mind.
- Memory game
Gather a small number of items on a tray (such as a spoon, keys, a toy car, a pencil, etc.). Have your child focus on the items and after 30 seconds or so, have them close their eyes. Take one item off of the tray and put it out of your child’s sight. Are they able to name which item is missing?
- Cloud-floating visualization
Have your child lie on their back with their eyes closed. Ask them to imagine a big, fluffy cloud above them. What does it look like? Now have them imagine that the cloud floats down to them. They can cuddle with the cloud to feel safe. They can fly on their special cloud anywhere they would like. Where will they go? What will they see?
- 3-3-3
Ask your child to name three things they can see, three sounds they can hear, and three things they can touch.
- Starfish breathing
Have your child use their forefinger to trace from the base of their thumb to the top of it as they breathe in. As they breathe out, have them trace down the other side of their thumb.
- Journaling
Kids can reflect, think through their day, and express their emotions with silent journaling. If they can’t think of something to write, have some prompts for them such as, “if I was a superhero I would want my power to be…” or “what are my favourite things to do outside?”
- Positive-thoughts jar
When your child is in a calm mood, work with them to make a positive-thoughts jar. Fill a jar with pieces of paper with actions they can perform when they’re feeling stressed or anxious. The actions could range from doing five jumping jacks to taking five deep breaths.
- The alphabet game
Pick a category such as names or food and have your child think of an item in that category for each letter of the alphabet. Help them get started if they need some guidance. For example, “A is for apples. B is for blueberries. C is for cake. Can you think of a food that starts with D?”
- Positive self-talk
Talk to your kids about speaking positively and confidently. Instead of telling themselves, for example, that they will probably fail a test, they can turn that thinking on its head and tell themselves that they studied hard, that they’re smart, and that they’ll do fine. Practice self-affirmations with them such as, “I am brave,” “I am safe,” “I am loved,” or “I am proud of myself.”
- Gratitude list
Work with your child to come up with a list of things that they’re thankful for. Their list could include friends, family, toys, sunshine, cozy blankets, etc.
Creative play
By engaging in creative play, kids can process their feelings in a safe, comfortable way while becoming more confident in themselves and in their abilities. Their minds become less focused on stress and anxiety and more on the creative process.
- Puppets
Kids can often express their emotions through inanimate objects in ways they might not otherwise.
- Calming stones
Rubbing or tracing calming stones can bring great relaxation to kids. Kids can make their own with a few simple materials using a lot of imagination.
- Clay
Sculpting, kneading, and shaping with clay is a calming methods to help kids release their anxiety.
- Make a stress ball
Using just a few items, kids can make their own stress ball to squeeze away stress and nervous energy.
- Collage
Gather magazines, ribbons, yard, shells, feathers, buttons, etc., for your kids to create a collage.
- Colouring
Allow your kids to colour freely or ask them to imagine themselves as a superhero and draw themselves as their alter ego.
- Build a “calm-down kit“
A “calm-down kit” is a container that contains comforting objects. It could include pictures of family, toys, notes, a stress ball, or calming stones. Have your child decorate a container such as a shoe box, tote bag, or food-storage box to stash their objects for easy access.
- Worry jar
A worry jar is a “storage spot” for your child’s nervous or anxious thoughts. Have your child decorate a jar with stickers, paint, markers, or other items. Explain to them that when they have a worry and don’t have time (or don’t want) to process it or think about it, they can write it down or have you write their worry on a piece of paper that they can place in their jar. You can then set aside time for your kids to take the paper out of the jar and talk with you about their worry. When they feel like they aren’t worried about that issue any longer, they can tear the paper up and throw it away.
- Origami
The process of folding paper requires focus and attention offering relief from their racing thoughts and worries.
- Beading
Provide your kids with beads and beading lace or string (younger kids can use “O” shaped cereal in place of beads or beads with larger holes). The combination of colours and bead shapes that your kids choose is a great way to keep their brains focussed on a creative process.
Active play
Active play is a great way to release pent-up energy and improve mood. Including group activities can help kids with social anxiety. Playing outside in nature is also an effective way to relieve stress. Try some of our suggested activities to reduce anxiety in children or ask your child what sports or movement they enjoy.
- Dance party
- Bike ride
- Throw and catch
- Tag with friends or family
- Pop bubbles
- Long jump
Challenge them indoors by having them jump on lines made by painter’s tape on the floor or outdoors on grass or in the sand.
- Bubble-wrap jump
Purchase a roll of wrap and have your child jump and pop to their heart’s content.
- Indoor skating
Have your kids place each of their feet on paper plates, face cloths, or felt squares, and let them slide along like skating pros on hardwood or carpet. Turn on the music and let them skate to the rhythm!
- Action songs
Sing together or find recordings of songs that have kids moving their bodies in different ways. Hokey Pokey, Shake My Sillies Out, I’m A Little Teapot, and Zoom, Zoom, Zoom are all examples of fun ways to get kids moving and shaking to singalong songs.
- Jump in the sprinkler
Set up a sprinkler in your yard and have your kids jump through using animal movements or dance through.
Sensory activities
Sensory play is any activity that stimulates our five senses. When kids take part in these activities, they can stay in the moment and redirect their focus on what they see, hear, feel, smell, or taste.
- Sensory bins
Fill a container with items your kids can feel and sort and explore. Items could include rice, shells, buttons, cotton balls, spoons, pinecones, a magnifying glass, toy trucks, funnels, shovels, dry pasta, sieves, etc.
- Calm jars
With a calm jar, your kids can shake and watch the contents inside swirl up like their emotions and then slowly settle and calm. You can make your own mindfulness calming jar with a few items.
- Music
Make a playlist with your child of calming songs. You can use music you already have or search YouTube or Spotify playlists for calming kids’ music.
- Walk barefoot
Connect with the earth and feel the different sensations of walking on grass, sand, mud, or pebbles. (Safety tip: Watch out for honeybees if there’s flowering clover in the grass, and for glass or other sharp objects on any surface.)
- Noise focus
Kids’ brains sometimes get overstimulated in noisy situations as they haven’t developed the skill to filter out sounds. To help your child develop this skill, sit outside with them and have them listen for specific sounds such as birds singing, car horns beeping, leaves rustling, dogs barking or lawnmowers.
- Outdoor sensory scavenger hunt
This fun activity weaves together all seven of your child’s senses. Look for things outdoors to smell, hear, see, touch, and taste and playfully move around to find them. Here’s a fun printable to help guide you!
- Water play
Fill an empty storage container with water and items your kids can use to experience the movement and feel of the liquid. Include spoons, smaller containers, balls to float, items that will sink, sponges, squirt toys, etc., etc.
- Finger painting
Let your child immerse their senses (and their fingers) in this fun and creative activity. Add elements to the paint like glitter to give the paint more texture.
- Make a rain stick
Rain sticks make the most beautiful soothing sound. Make one with your child and have them tilt it back and forth as they listen to the “rain.”
- Sand play
Make your own sandbox indoors or out or play at a beach or playground. Kids can dig with their fingers, pour sand from hand to hand, shape it into castles or dig their toes into it.
Anxiety group activities and family time
Bonding with a friend, a group of friends, or family is a wonderful way to make kids feel safe and connected. If a large group is overwhelming for your child, start with small groups as they adjust to social environments and interactions.
- Cook or bake together
Have your child pick a favourite food and work together to create culinary and bonding memories.
- Laugh
Laughter is the best medicine, right? Find a joke book and take turns telling jokes.
- Family picnic
Inside or out, take the time to enjoy each other’s company with good food, relaxation and some fun picnic games.
- Read together
Read a kid-appropriate book about anxiety such as “There’s a Bully in My Brain” by clinical social worker Kristin O’Rourke. The main character, Justin, learns to talk to the “bully” who tells him that he is going to be afraid or fail—or that his parents might not pick him up after school. Justin learns to stand up to his bully with firm and affirming beliefs in himself.
- Reminisce
Look through old family photos, videos, and keepsakes. Kids will feel connected to their own special community.
- Charades
When kids are anxious, it’s common for them to be shy in crowds. Playing charades with friends or family with whom they feel safe and comfortable will help them come out of their shell and maybe even enjoy and participate in the silliness.
- Play dates
Arrange a playdate for your child with one or two friends at your home. With you in the house, your child will feel safer to interact with others.
- Movie-making
Have your child use your phone and ask them to interview you and others they’re comfortable with.
- Group yoga
There are a number of yoga postures and breathing techniques you can do at home that can benefit children’s mental health and well-being, and they’re easy to do with kids of all ages. You can also try taking a yoga class with your child, or get a few of their friends together to practice yoga movements with an online class.
- Secret handshake
Make a secret handshake with your child that you can use when dropping them off at school or an activity. This can act like a reminder to your child that you have a bond that won’t be broken, even when you’re apart.
Allowing your child to navigate their feelings in healthy and validating ways is a great tool in helping them understand and navigate their anxious emotions. By breathing mindfully and playing creatively, actively, sensorially, and with others, your child can work through their anxious feelings and gain confidence and emotional self control.
The do’s and don’ts of helping a child with anxiety
Being the parent of a child with anxiety is difficult. We all want to save our kids from their negative feelings. Keep these points in mind when dealing with your child.
Don’ts
- Dismiss or minimize their feelings. A child’s anxious feelings are valid and can feel very overwhelming. Make it clear to your child that you will always be willing to listen and support them in positive ways.
- Over-schedule their days. A child with anxiety can get easily overwhelmed and needs downtime to reflect, relax, and find calm.
- Permit avoidance. Kids with anxiety will try to avoid people or situations that make them nervous. While it might feel helpful to keep them away from their triggers, avoiding a situation long term will only reinforce your child’s anxiety.
- Let your goodbyes be long. While it’s very difficult to see your child upset when you’re leaving them at school or with a babysitter, prolonging your exit will only make it harder in the long run as your child will think they can persuade you to stay.
- Reinforce their anxieties. Empathize and acknowledge their feelings but work with your child to face and overcome their worries.
Do’s:
- Take care of yourself. Not only will self-care protect your own mental health but kids can pick up on your stress, which can amplify their own
- Be patient. Easing a child’s worries isn’t a one-day undertaking. But do remind yourself and your child that anxiety can be overcome. Focus on the skills they need to manage their stress rather than on tbe stress itself
- Provide your child with a supportive home environment where they can feel safe to communicate their feelings
- Remind your child that they have the ability to successfully handle the situations that are causing them distress. Provide them with a few short affirmations that they can say to themselves, such as “I am safe” or “I am brave.” Practice saying the affirmations with them.
- Model calm behaviour.
- Keep in touch with your child’s teacher to monitor how your child is acting in school. Is their anxiety preventing them from participating or focusing?
Make time for activities that provide joy, are calming, and/or are healthy distractions.
When to seek additional support
- If you’re not noticing a marked decrease in your child’s anxiety or are concerned about a marked increase.
- If their anxiety is hampering their progress or participation in school for an extended time.
- If your child is becoming sick due to their lack of sleep or appetite.
Reach out to your child’s pediatrician, a child psychologist, or a counsellor for additional support.
Never run out of ideas of anxiety activities for children
Anxiety is very, very common but there are many ways you can help your child feel more secure. Try some of the suggested activities for anxious children above and see which ones are best for your child’s needs and interests.
With your patience and unconditional support, there’s a very good chance that your child’s anxiety will dissipate. What activities do you do to help your child’s anxiety? Let us know in the comments below!
