How to spot mental health problems in your child: Signs to watch out for
“I don’t feel that hungry,” my son mumbled. He sat across from me at the dinner table, poking peas around his plate, his eyes distant.
“Do you feel unwell?”
“I don’t know…” he said.
Something about his demeanour had my mommy senses tingling. Something wasn’t right.
“Did something happen today?” I prodded, as gently as possible.
His chair scraped as he pushed back from the table. I watched him walk to the bathroom and close the door. Not sure what to do next, I waited for a few moments, then knocked gently.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“You can come in,” he said, his voice hitched.
I opened the door slowly and found my nine-year-old curled up on the ground, shaking.
I will never forget the moment I witnessed my son gripped by a panic attack. As I wrapped my arms around him, I felt like I had fallen back in time. As a child, I too struggled with anxiety. However, in those days—yes, I’m making myself sound ancient—mental health in children wasn’t talked about. My parents tried their best, but they didn’t know what to look for or how to help me.
I promised myself that if any of my five children struggled with mental health issues, I wouldn’t let them suffer as I did. Yet spotting mental health problems in children isn’t always straightforward. So, if you’ve been wondering if your child might be struggling with mental health challenges, this article will help you identify key warning signs and suggest steps you can take next.
Why early detection of mental health problems is crucial
When it comes to mental health disorders in children, we are living at an unprecedented time. According to the Canadian Paediatric Society, 20% (one in five) of Canadian children and youth experience mental illness, most commonly anxiety disorders, depression and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). While these statistics can feel overwhelming, there is hope.
The Mental Health Commission of Canada points out that 70% of adult mental health issues start in childhood. When children get the right support early on, they will develop healthier coping skills, greater resiliency, improved self-esteem, and a better quality of life. This is why early detection matters.
What are some common warning signs to watch for in children?
Looking back, there were signs I overlooked with my son. As a toddler, he struggled significantly with separation anxiety. In early childhood, he worried about minor issues like small scrapes becoming infected or common colds becoming life-threatening.
It can be challenging to know what’s considered “typical” in terms of child development, and what isn’t. After all, children go through numerous growth spurts and development milestones from birth well into the teenage years. Children also have unique personalities and temperaments, which can vary widely! Remember, noticing one sign doesn’t necessarily mean your child has a mental health condition. However, if these signs persist, get worse, interfere with their day-to-day life or seem age-inappropriate, the Canadian Mental Health Association recommends seeking help for your child.
The list below is based on the warning signs identified by the Canadian Paediatric Society (Caring for Kids) as well as from resources from the Canadian Mental Health Association: Ontario, and BC.
Emotional signs
- Feeling persistently sad, unhappy, or down
- Experiencing excessive worry, fear, or panic
- Being frequently irritable
- Having sudden or frequent mood swings
- Having frequent outbursts of anger
Behavioural change signs
- Withdrawing from friends and family
- Wanting to be alone often
- Having trouble getting along with friends
- Being quieter than usual
- Losing interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Regressing in developmental milestones (such as bedwetting in older children)
Physical signs
- Experiencing frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other pains with no medical cause
- Obsessing about body image or weight
- Changing sleeping or eating habits (less or more, difficulty with)
- Experiencing low energy or fatigue persistently with no medical cause
- Having nervous habits (nail- or hair-chewing, frequent hand-washing)
Academic signs
- Sudden drop in grades
- Withdrawing from school activities
- Having difficulty concentrating
- Feeling unmotivated at school
Risky or self-harm signs
- Engaging in increased risk-taking behaviour
- Drinking a lot of alcohol or using drugs
- Defying authority frequently or severely
- Talking about death or self-harm
- Engaging in self-injury (cutting, burning)
If your child talks about suicide or self-harm, seek immediate help from your doctor or a mental health crisis line.
What to do if you notice warning signs
My son’s first panic attack moved me into immediate action. I told him that I was there to help and support him—that he wasn’t alone. Then I reminded myself that I didn’t have to handle this alone. I reached out to our family doctor, contacted a child therapist, gathered resources, and found helpful books about anxiety to read with him. These early interventions gave him the tools to manage anxiety, which became especially important during his teenage years. It also helped him understand the importance of asking for help.
If you’re noticing warning signs, know that many other parents face similar situations—you are not alone. Also, recognizing these signs is a step in the right direction. Remember, you are your child’s strongest advocate. Even if you’re unsure, it’s always better to seek professional help.
Here’s a list of various things you can do to help your child if they are struggling with their mental health:
- Schedule a doctor’s appointment to discuss warning signs you’ve noticed in your child
- No family doctor? Visit a walk-in or urgent-care clinic with your child
- Connect with a mental-health professional (counsellor, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist)
- Access local community mental-health services or support groups (for kids, for teens, and for parents) through your health region
- Engage your child’s teacher and school counsellor. They can help provide in-school support and even connect your child to other community services
- Contact the Kids Help Phone: Canada’s only 24/7 e-mental health service offering free, multilingual, and confidential support to help all young people. Phone: 1-800-668-6868, text: 686868
- More information for parents from Canadian pediatricians: Your Child’s Mental Health
Supporting your child’s mental health at home
Besides professional support, there are things that you can do at home too. I quickly learned my son managed his anxiety better when he slept well. Lack of sleep was a recipe for “worry monsters” to get bigger. I also found that regular movement and time outside helped him a great deal. Here are a few practical things that you can do at home to help your child’s mental health:
- Build consistent home routines that support healthy sleep habits and nutritious meals. 6 ways to encourage healthy sleep habits for the whole family
- Encourage plenty of outdoor play. Why outdoor play is critical for child development
- Support movement throughout the day in a variety of ways. 10 ways to get active in just 10 minutes or Add activity to your day with this free printable
- Manage healthy amounts of screen time. How much screen time should kids get?
If you’re reading this article because you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, please know that noticing and taking action are crucial first steps to helping your child thrive. Early detection and support can significantly help your child for life. And if you’re a coach or childcare professional, share your concerns with the child’s parent or guardian.
Remember: you aren’t alone on this journey. Reach out, look for support and know that there is a community waiting to reach out and help.